Bandwagon Blogger: September 2006

24 September 2006

Excuses I Should Have Used

"... Now, I understand that your parents are on vacation in Zimbabwe... and that your Po Po is deaf..." -- Mr. Disciplinary

# posted by b.w.b. : 23:38 0 comments

23 September 2006

The Hierarchies of Beauty

I have taken the liberty of looking up each of these definitions on Dictionary.com. They all have very similar by-the-book definitions and yet we are so prudent in our seemingly precise use of each word. Why? (And am I missing any?)

Cute : attractive, esp. in a dainty way; pleasingly pretty

Beautiful : having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind

Hot : sexy; attractive

Handsome : having an attractive, well-proportioned, and imposing appearance suggestive of health and strength; good-looking (did you know that according to the examples in the dictionary, a woman can be handsome too??)

Pretty : pleasing or attractive to the eye, as by delicacy or gracefulness

# posted by b.w.b. : 11:46 0 comments

16 September 2006

Spinat - Organic vs Processed

I just had some spinach. I like spinach... I LOVE spinach. ("I like Patricia... I LOVE Patricia. Patricia... Patricia makes coffee nervous.") But here's the new dilemma: would you rather tetanus or E-coli? Organic food is great and all, not that I even know what organic means. But why is it that when you buy organic vegetables-- in this case, spinach-- it also comes attached with a pound of dirt? I find that despite having meticulously washed each leaf, I become growingly stressed with each bite because I pray that my teeth won't crack into grains of sand. And that my tongue won't mistakenly caress itself into a hidden pocket of dirt. It's like playing Russian Roulette. I might as well go and lick the garden outside and get it over with. On the other hand, the recent nail-biting outbreak of E-coli causing kidney failure doesn't really appeal to me either. But you are sure to be eating "clean" (dirtless) and smooth spinach. I just got re-vaccinated with a lovely tetanus jab, so as it stands, Organic vs Processed is ironically a matter of Safety vs Pleasure... right?

# posted by b.w.b. : 12:24 1 comments

13 September 2006

Go figure

"How bad do you want to be good?"

There are several points about that sentence that is incorrect. I saw it on the subway recently as an advertisement - yes, you probably have too. I understand that it is a punchline, meant to be used as a 'hook'; hence the symmetrical parts of speech despite its incorrectness. (I think it should be "badly"). Go figure this slogan is used for the School of Visual Arts. ... What's the deal?

# posted by b.w.b. : 01:05 0 comments

06 September 2006

Bandwagon Poetry, The Spot That We Picked

"You know why people don't go to developing countries??? Not because it's dangerous, or that they're scared... it's that it's so F*CKING expensive and nobody can afford it!!!" -- A Friend. I acknowledge this. And thus, I share with you all a poem:

This is the spot that we picked.

This is the bag
That I have to buy to get to the spot that we picked.

This is the pill
That I’ll keep in the bag,
That I have to buy to get to the spot that we picked.

This is the bill
That paid for the pill,
That I’ll keep in the bag,
That I have to buy to get to the spot that we picked.

This is the balance
That came on the bill,
That paid for the pill,
That I’ll keep in the bag,
That I have to buy to get to the spot that we picked.

These are the clothes
That got added to the balance,
That came on the bill,
That paid for the pill,
That I’ll keep in the bag,
That I have to buy to get to the spot that we picked.

These are the hoes
Who priced the clothes,
That got added to the balance,
That came on the bill,
That paid for the pill,
That I’ll keep in the bag,
That I have to buy to get to the spot that we picked.

This is the sucker
Who supports the hoes,
Who priced the clothes,
That got added to the balance,
That came on the bill,
That paid for the pill,
That I’ll keep in the bag,
That I have to buy to get to the spot that we picked.

This is the f*cker
That under-compensates the sucker,
Who supports the hoes,
Who priced the clothes,
That got added to the balance,
That came on the bill,
That paid for the pill,
That I’ll keep in the bag,
That I have to buy to get to the spot that we picked.