19 December 2006
The Perishables
I judge restaurants based off of some quirky standards, I know-- when you have your silverware at 10 and 4, do they still come up to ask if you are finished? If you and your friend split the bill in half with your credit cards, do they only give you one pen?
But judging a restaurant on the quality of their perishables, I would guess, is more common practice. Having milk that curdles in your coffee, limes that are brown, and apples that are overly-grainy can never be a good sign. But what if the perishable items are not even available and merely falsely advertised? Like, shrimp cocktail that comes with fresh lump crabmeat-- but it shows up with no crabmeat. Or turkey avocado club-- but it shows up with no avocado. Or french onion soup-- with no gruyère. It's time to get suspicious. You might be ordering items that not only don't have a high enough turnover... you might really be the only one ordering it! Beware! I have fallen victim to this multiple times over the past couple of weeks... and am still making great attempts to ignore it for the time being.
But judging a restaurant on the quality of their perishables, I would guess, is more common practice. Having milk that curdles in your coffee, limes that are brown, and apples that are overly-grainy can never be a good sign. But what if the perishable items are not even available and merely falsely advertised? Like, shrimp cocktail that comes with fresh lump crabmeat-- but it shows up with no crabmeat. Or turkey avocado club-- but it shows up with no avocado. Or french onion soup-- with no gruyère. It's time to get suspicious. You might be ordering items that not only don't have a high enough turnover... you might really be the only one ordering it! Beware! I have fallen victim to this multiple times over the past couple of weeks... and am still making great attempts to ignore it for the time being.
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Regarding the 10 & 4 thing. I've noticed that too... I think out of politeness, most waiters/waitresses ask anyway, but I've certainly been to some places that don't clear my plate until I've actually folded up my napkin and put it on top of the plate... "throwing in the towel," so to speak. And then there are the places that clear your plate, but then wait 20 minutes before asking if you want your check. Really? You mean, I don't have other places to be instead of sitting here feeling sickly full and watching reruns of the same hockey game for the 9th time today on "SportsCentre" (I'm in Canada, they spell it funny here).
I'm definitely getting sick of eating at restaurants though. My eyes are bigger than my stomach, and I always force myself to finish as much as I can for some reason.
On a sidenote (and related to your elevator bellhop thing), do people ever call you funny things at restaurants? Last night my waitress called me "hon". It was awkward, at least for me. She was our age, and it was at a sports-bar type place. I dunno... it was weird. Maybe from an older woman, possibly working behind the bar, I guess? But not cocktail-dress sports-bar waitress working her way through junior college.
Ok, I'm done.
I'm definitely getting sick of eating at restaurants though. My eyes are bigger than my stomach, and I always force myself to finish as much as I can for some reason.
On a sidenote (and related to your elevator bellhop thing), do people ever call you funny things at restaurants? Last night my waitress called me "hon". It was awkward, at least for me. She was our age, and it was at a sports-bar type place. I dunno... it was weird. Maybe from an older woman, possibly working behind the bar, I guess? But not cocktail-dress sports-bar waitress working her way through junior college.
Ok, I'm done.
Oh and about 'perishables'.... Never order "The Special", especially if it's fish or meat. It just means they bought too much of it and it's about to go bad. Seriously. Read the book "Kitchen Confidential"... you'll never eat out again.
I think I would rather stay away from reading that book since it might spoil my fun with NY restaurants. My answer to all things now (hair in my food, bug in my drink, etc.) is: "F*ck it, I probably had worse in Vietnam."
I guess I agree with the 10 & 4 bit. It is certainly more polite to ask about that and confirm than it is to ask if you are finished when your fork and knife are at 4 & 8 (or 8 & 4, rather). That is rude. That is rude because it is wrong! Is it correct to put your napkin on your food? That is really a pet peeve for me - I think it's gross to put your napkins on your plate and particularly gross if it's a cloth napkin. What if it stains!
On a similar etiquette note - at nicer restaurants, they will not bring the check unless you ask because it is rude otherwise. ... like asking if you are finished when your fork & knife are at 8 & 4! I also hate that restaurants in the States clear your plate as you finish regardless of whether or not your dining partners are.
Re: junior college. LOL. You are such a sh*thead.
I guess I agree with the 10 & 4 bit. It is certainly more polite to ask about that and confirm than it is to ask if you are finished when your fork and knife are at 4 & 8 (or 8 & 4, rather). That is rude. That is rude because it is wrong! Is it correct to put your napkin on your food? That is really a pet peeve for me - I think it's gross to put your napkins on your plate and particularly gross if it's a cloth napkin. What if it stains!
On a similar etiquette note - at nicer restaurants, they will not bring the check unless you ask because it is rude otherwise. ... like asking if you are finished when your fork & knife are at 8 & 4! I also hate that restaurants in the States clear your plate as you finish regardless of whether or not your dining partners are.
Re: junior college. LOL. You are such a sh*thead.
No, I totally agree about the check. I'm not expecting them to just bring it, b/c then that brings up the issue of whether I wanted dessert or not (usually not, consideringly the sickly full feeling), but they could at least ask "is there anything else I can get you?" etc etc.. Then there's obviously European service, where you can sit there till you rot and they still won't bring the bill.
I never put cloth napkins on the food plate, don't worry. I stain enough clothes by dropping food as it is, thank you. But I think most restaurants that have cloth napkins are likely to be aware of the 10/4 rule. The "paper napkin" genre of restaurants however... that's another story.
Don't worry - I haven't read that book either. I've heard it's good though. I'd still probably eat out after reading it though... kind of like how 'Super Size Me' made me stop eating at McD's. For a few weeks.
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I never put cloth napkins on the food plate, don't worry. I stain enough clothes by dropping food as it is, thank you. But I think most restaurants that have cloth napkins are likely to be aware of the 10/4 rule. The "paper napkin" genre of restaurants however... that's another story.
Don't worry - I haven't read that book either. I've heard it's good though. I'd still probably eat out after reading it though... kind of like how 'Super Size Me' made me stop eating at McD's. For a few weeks.
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